Chapter Ninety-Two: Rampant Fury

Morton felt dazed all over, his head splitting with pain, the classic aftermath of a vicious hangover.

Through the haze, he became aware of a dry throat and an aching body, and only then did he wake fully.

"Water?" he rasped.

At once, a cup of warm water, already prepared, was placed in his hand. After he drank three large cups in succession, the fog in his mind finally began to clear.

He realized he was in his own room, and beside him Yiyi had red eyes, plainly having cared for him through the night without a moment’s sleep.

"How long have I slept?" Morton asked, rubbing his throbbing forehead.

"Replying to Young Master, a whole day and night! If not for Master Hua saying Young Master was fine, this servant would have worried herself to death!" Yiyi said, her eyes still red.

Only then did Morton notice that the sun was already tilting westward; it was afternoon, and he had somehow slept through an entire day.

His head still pounded. Fragments of yesterday’s memories slowly returned. After Morton had utterly defeated Yan Xingjian with a sketching technique common in later ages, he had immediately become the darling of the idle aristocratic youths.

When young blood got carried away, even a petty quarrel over a woman, if one came out slightly on top, felt like a great triumph.

The fine three-fermented wine was drunk like water, and Morton was the principal target. Though the liquor in this age was not especially strong, it still could not withstand being treated as though it were plain water. Soon Morton was delightfully drunk.

Since coming to this era, Morton had borne enormous pressure. The survival of the five thousand souls of Merton Village, the growth of the Merton family—each step had been taken on thin ice, his nerves taut with strain. Only last night had Morton finally thrown off all that burden and indulged himself for once.

"Uh... I didn't do anything too outrageous, did I?" Some of his memories had already gone fuzzy. He asked Yiyi.

"Does bringing back a woman's eyebrow cosmetic count?" Yiyi blinked innocently. Only then did Morton notice that the girl’s eyebrows had been painted with eyebrow cosmetic; she had clearly used some in secret.

"Uh..."

Morton’s face instantly burned with embarrassment, and he remembered at once the absurd events of the previous night.

Ever since arriving in the Tang Dynasty, although he had invented the quill to solve the difficulty of writing, a quill had to be dipped in ink after every few strokes, which was terribly inconvenient.

When he saw the eyebrow cosmetic most closely resembling graphite, he was seized by the thrill of a hunter spotting game, and emptied the entire supply from the House of Instruction, planning to have Uncle Zhang study it later and make pencils from it. He had never imagined the consequences of such a thing.

"Wow! I never expected Brother Morton to be so fond of a lady’s eyebrow cosmetic. This brother specially bought a batch at West Market today and came to deliver it to you."

Fang Jun pushed the door open and walked in, a sly grin on his face and an utterly obnoxious air about him.

Behind him came none other than Li Chengqian, who clearly knew him already. It was hardly surprising; Fang Jun was the second son of Lord Fang, so knowing the crown prince, Li Chengqian, was only natural.

"That day Brother Morton, your hot air balloon rose over the city of Chang'an. I was unable to witness it with my own eyes, and that remains a great regret. I never imagined that only a few days later, Brother Morton would once again set the whole city aflame. It seems your days are truly splendid indeed! Compared with that, life in the Eastern Palace is simply too dull."

Li Chengqian shook his head as he spoke, looking deeply regretful.

"Many thanks for Brother Li's carriage the other day. But what do you mean by saying that I have once again 'set the whole city aflame'? It was only a gathering of youths drinking and making a drunken scene; surely that is nothing worth mentioning?" Morton asked in confusion.

He had only just awakened and knew nothing at all about what had happened next.

"Brother Morton does not know yet? Yesterday that painting of yours was truly a work that shocked the world. Miss Gongsun looked as though she were a living person, so vivid and lifelike. You even stamped your seal upon it, saying that if it were not sealed to suppress it, you feared Miss Gongsun in the painting might come to life." Fang Jun recounted the events of the previous day in vivid detail.

Morton stared in astonishment. He had boasted too much this time, and all because of drinking.

"Just bragging, only bragging—not to be taken seriously!" Morton said with a foolish grin.

Fang Jun laughed wickedly. "But someone has taken it seriously! Starting today, Miss Gongsun of the House of Instruction will receive no visitors except for performances. If anyone wants to see Miss Gongsun, they can only look at the painting made by Brother Morton."

"This works too?" Morton was dumbstruck. To pay a fortune and never see the real person, only a portrait—what sort of business was this?

"Of course. Master Yan Liben spent a small fortune and booked her for three days straight. As for the appointments after that, they’re already booked into next month. Everyone wants to see your divine painting skill, Brother Morton. And as for Gongsun Yue, the House of Instruction treats her like a treasure, even making her perform behind a veil."

The House of Instruction certainly knew how to make money. This was even easier than lying down and collecting payment, and they had mastered the art of scarcity marketing to perfection.

"Even Father Emperor has heard of this matter. This morning, when I came over, I heard him say that the boy of the Mo family is always mischievous and causing trouble, and as your appointed guardian he will find a chance to discipline you properly. So there’s no need to thank me for the carriage yet—you’ll still have use for it in the future, and then you can thank me all at once."

Li Chengqian said this with a crafty smile.

It had to be said that Li Chengqian had changed enormously. When he first began interacting with Morton, he had been courteous enough, but always solemn and proper. Since he recovered the ability to walk normally, his personality had gradually become more open, and even jokes came readily to his lips—something utterly unimaginable before.

It was likely that Li Shimin and Empress Changsun had also noticed this change in him, which was why they did not forbid Morton and Li Chengqian from associating, and instead held Morton in high regard. After all, Li Shimin was not the sort to casually become anyone’s guardian.

At that, Morton wilted at once. He had personally experienced Li Shimin’s terror. If he were to take charge of his education himself, then Morton’s future would be a life of utter darkness.

"Heh heh heh!"

Fang Jun laughed heartlessly. Ever since he had abandoned scholarship for martial arts, Lord Fang had long since lost confidence in this fellow’s academic prospects.

These two had come to visit Morton for one reason, but they also wanted one of his paintings.

Fresh from waking to hear that he had fallen into Li Shimin’s clutches, Morton had no mood to paint for them. It was only after enduring Fang Jun’s persistent pestering that he finally gave in.

A sly idea struck Morton’s mind, and a caricature version of the two sprang to life on the page.

Big heads, thin necks, bodies and limbs made of a few stick-like lines—no matter how one looked at them, they were absurd. Add to that a few jokes common in later ages, and anyone who saw it would be unable to stop themselves from laughing.

"You’re playing tricks on us! Just wait and see how I deal with you!"

Fang Jun roared and lunged at Morton, while Li Chengqian neatly cut off Morton’s route of retreat.

Naturally, neither of them appreciated Morton’s shoddy workmanship, and the three youths soon tumbled into a heap, laughing and roughhousing.

In the end, outnumbered, Morton still signed an armistice of surrender and promised that when the time was right, he would make each of them a proper portrait.

As for the simplified portraits in their hands, they were of course far too precious to throw away, and the more they looked at them, the more they liked them. They would simply count as interest on this occasion.