Chapter Thirty-Six: Transference

Chapter Thirty-Six: Transference

When Zhang Lei spoke, his expression was utterly natural, as if being scolded by his father was the most ordinary thing in the world—hardly worth making a fuss over, and even recalling it no longer brought pain.

Qin Ruonan regarded Zhang Lei’s reaction thoughtfully. His words had, to some extent, confirmed her suspicions. She pondered how to continue questioning him. After weighing her options, she decided to be straightforward; after all, she didn’t have much time to waste with Zhang Lei. The real reason she was taking the time to talk with him was to uncover whether he had any connection to Fang Wan’s disappearance. Fang Wan had been one of Zhang Lei’s former physical education students, and like the little boy they’d just encountered, had been quite mischievous.

“When you were a child, when your father hit you, did your mother ever try to stop him?” she asked.

Zhang Lei frowned with displeasure and retorted loudly, “Why are you asking this? Does it have anything to do with what’s happening today?! Are you a cop or a psychologist?! Is this how cops do their jobs?”

“I am a cop, and you’re not. The standards for how a cop should do their job aren’t up to you to decide. For now, you just need to answer my questions. Of course, if you don’t like my questions, you can choose not to answer. It’s entirely up to you—you weigh the pros and cons yourself.”

Qin Ruonan remained calm in the face of Zhang Lei’s somewhat unreasonable questioning, showing no anger. Her steady demeanor carried a more intimidating weight than anger or reprimand could. For a moment, Zhang Lei hesitated, unsure whether this seemingly serene female officer might be hiding turbulent currents beneath the surface—one misstep, and he might be sucked into a whirlpool.

After silently deliberating, Zhang Lei finally dared not risk defiance. With a face full of reluctance, he answered Qin Ruonan’s earlier question, “When my dad beat me, my mom didn’t have time to stop him! She was busy shirking responsibility, yelling on the side, ‘It’s all because of your Zhang family’s bad blood!’”

He suddenly gave a self-mocking laugh. “I don’t even know whose bad blood I inherited. My dad’s unhappy with me, it’s my fault. My mom’s unhappy with me, it’s my dad’s fault. I’m just their failed product—stupid and useless. Whenever they fight, I’m the root of all trouble. If they hadn’t made me the mixed doubles, I’d be content. How could I expect anyone to stop them?”

Qin Ruonan had anticipated the answer. Usually, families were a strict father and kind mother combination. Even if the mother was timid and habitually yielded to the father, she would still show protection toward the child. Even her own mother, who was extremely meek and always obedient, never knew how to resist.

But in Zhang Lei’s case, he was the target of mutual attacks from both parents.

Her feelings toward Zhang Lei became far more complex. From initial simple dislike, she now harbored a vague sympathy and a growing concern that his personality had been deeply shaped by his upbringing.

Qin Ruonan didn’t have time to delve into the precise details of how Zhang Lei’s parents treated him. As Zhang Lei had said earlier, she was a police officer, not a psychologist. Knowing just enough background to support her judgment was sufficient. Zhang Lei’s rejection of children, his acceptance of rough treatment as normal, and his instinct to act violently toward Chai Xiu all convinced Qin Ruonan that his personality wasn’t formed overnight by external influences. Understanding his upbringing confirmed her suspicions: for someone like Zhang Lei, who took such a family environment as ordinary, roughness toward minors was likely just as normal.

“All right, you can leave now,” Qin Ruonan nodded to Zhang Lei and stood up first. Next, she needed to talk with the boy Zhang Lei had locked in “confinement.” Zhang Lei’s temper was impulsive; he had been rough with the little boy and with Chai Xiu just now. She couldn’t help but worry that releasing him or letting Chai Xiu bring the child inside might cause more trouble.

After all, Zhang Lei’s fiery temper was no small matter.

Zhang Lei was stunned. “That’s it? You’re not going to ask anything else?”

“If you want me to ask more, I can accommodate you,” Qin Ruonan said, retracting the step she had taken.

“Don’t act like I never said anything! I’m not some cop’s favorite interrogation subject!” Zhang Lei jumped up from his chair, said no more, and strode out toward the lounge door.

Qin Ruonan followed closely behind. Outside the door, Chai Xiu stood not far off with the little boy, who was still sobbing lightly. It seemed the child had really been frightened. As soon as he saw Zhang Lei emerge, he tensed all over, his face nearly changing color. Chai Xiu hurriedly pulled the boy close, watching Zhang Lei warily.

Zhang Lei didn’t do what Qin Ruonan feared—he didn’t hurl insults or threaten. He merely sneered disdainfully at them, swaggered away with arrogance, neither bullying nor showing any remorse.

“You both come in with me,” Qin Ruonan said, watching Zhang Lei walk away and beckoning to Chai Xiu.

Chai Xiu led the little boy behind Qin Ruonan into the staff lounge. It took Qin Ruonan a while to coax the still-shaken boy into recounting what had happened.

From the child’s story, it matched Zhang Lei’s account with no real contradiction—only the perspective differed, coloring the details of right and wrong. The boy emphasized how rough and frightening Zhang Lei had been, omitting much about his own mischief, whether intentionally or not. Still, he honestly admitted that Zhang Lei had warned him beforehand; the boy had simply ignored the warning.

Since the child’s version was consistent with Zhang Lei’s in principle, after clarifying the whole sequence of events, Qin Ruonan let the boy leave and stayed behind to talk with Chai Xiu.

Chai Xiu did not refuse. In fact, from the moment she found the boy locked in the restroom, her mood had been low. As the child narrated the events, her eyes reddened, tears welling up. Had she not kept her head slightly raised and taken deep breaths, the tears might have spilled over.

After the boy left, Chai Xiu wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and gave Qin Ruonan a sheepish smile.

“Sorry, did I lose my composure a bit? Don’t laugh at me!” Chai Xiu’s voice was soft and gentle, her large eyes still moist with tears, lending her a pitiful charm.

“Are you all right?” Qin Ruonan asked, surprised. At first, she had thought Chai Xiu was just scared by Zhang Lei’s outburst, but now it seemed different—more like something had touched a sore spot.

Chai Xiu shook her head slowly, then suddenly asked, “Any news about the missing child?”

Qin Ruonan remained silent. From her quietness, Chai Xiu guessed the answer and grew even sadder. “The child’s family must be heartbroken, right?”

“You seem especially concerned about the children,” Qin Ruonan observed.

Chai Xiu blushed, embarrassed. Her flush hadn’t faded before her eyes grew wet again.

“Honestly, don’t laugh at me. When you came to investigate last time, you saw my husband. Actually… he’s my second husband,” Chai Xiu took a deep breath and began sharing her private story with Qin Ruonan. “I had a child with my ex-husband. If that child were still alive, he’d be one this year.”

Qin Ruonan listened silently, unsure how to respond. She barely knew Chai Xiu, having just asked a stranger for help. Hearing such a painful topic, she hesitated to speak, especially since Chai Xiu’s words suggested the child had died young. Qin Ruonan feared that any attempt at comfort might inadvertently reopen wounds.

Fortunately, Chai Xiu didn’t expect a reply and continued, “Many things and many people, you only realize their worth after losing them. Every child is the flesh and blood of their parents’ hearts! Even if others see a child as troublesome or unruly, the parents still cherish them dearly. Have you heard of animals that develop transference after losing their young? I think I’m like that now. When I see other children suffer or get hurt, I can’t help but think of my own child. It’s as if it were my own, and my heart aches terribly. Even though I no longer have a child, I still feel like a mother and can’t help but empathize deeply with others.”

As she spoke, tears slid down her cheeks to her jaw, dripping onto the back of her hand. Startled by the sting of her own tears, she hurried to wipe them away, forcing a brave smile.

Qin Ruonan felt unsettled by her words. Unsure what comforting words to offer, she simply moved closer, took Chai Xiu’s hand, and offered silent support.

“Sometimes I feel guilty toward my current husband. Once bitten by a snake, ten years afraid of the well rope. I love children, but having lost one and suffered so much, almost didn’t survive, I’m now afraid to have children, fearing that if I lose another, I truly won’t be able to go on. Luckily, my husband understands me; it’s just me who feels bad,” Chai Xiu sighed deeply, looking at Qin Ruonan seriously. “Officer Qin, please don’t think I’m being fake or self-important. I earnestly ask you to find the missing child and also intervene in Zhang Lei’s behavior. Don’t let him take charge of children’s physical education anymore! I don’t want other parents to suffer the pain I once endured.”

Nearly an hour late… Tomorrow, I’ll work hard to bring him back! Fist clenched!