Chapter 123: The Boss Takes Action

Just as Chu Dong stood up, brimming with confidence and asking what reward he would receive, the reward arrived.

A small bear-shaped pillow was thrown at his back, bouncing far away. If it weren’t for Tan Xue feeling too full and lazy to move, she would have pounced on it immediately.

Chu Dong scratched his head and chuckled, “I was just saying it casually. I’m not expecting anything in return. But if you insist on giving me something, I wouldn’t say no.”

Li Youlan recalled the ID name he had chosen and couldn’t help but laugh. “When you two get married, I’ll give you a big gift. That should do, right?”

“That’s your idea. But if it were a real person, that would be even worth considering…” Chu Dong shamelessly daydreamed.

“Kick him for me,” Tan Xue ordered Xiao Yuer from a distance.

Without hesitation, a kick landed squarely on Chu Dong’s backside. Xiao Yuer really obeyed, but when Chu Dong turned around and stuck out his tongue, secretly pointing at her sister, she just gave a little shrug behind his back.

Being magnanimous, Chu Dong let Xiao Yuer off the hook. “Tell me, what should I be prepared for? I guess I’ve passed the Chinese chess part for now. They won’t really expect me to master music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, right? That would be like going back to school all over again.”

“My grandfather is obsessed with ancient culture—antiques, jade artifacts, calligraphy, and painting appreciation. He’s also very good at board games, especially Go. He always says there’s a whole world within those black and white stones. If you want to win his favor, you have to learn. As for my dad, it’s even more complicated. He only knows business. Without a knack for commerce, you won’t pass his test,” Li Youlan explained to Chu Dong.

“No problem, it’s all small stuff. Just wait and see. But…” Chu Dong’s expression turned serious, “We agreed this is all just for fun. Don’t take it seriously.”

“Get lost. You’d have to be crazy to take it seriously,” Li Youlan scolded, blushing.

Tan Xue didn’t care at all. “It’d be perfect if I got a baby from it. Hehe.”

Chu Dong had no time to chat with them. He grabbed his coat and went out to buy some books. Based on his experience with Chinese chess, he didn’t blindly jump online this time and embarrass himself, but decided to prepare first.

Fortunately, a private bookstore was still open. He bought a pile of books on Go and even some strategy guides for military chess. He was now fully committed to mastering board games.

A few days later, Qiangzi and Haozi finally couldn’t hold back and showed up at his door. Every time they called, Chu Dong was reading; every time they called, he was reading. This made them very curious. When did Chu Dong become so serious? Was he going to join a professional league? After some discussion, they decided to come see for themselves.

“How do you have time? Weren’t you busy fooling around at the university lately?” Chu Dong was surprised to see them. Haozi supposedly had a young foreign girlfriend and was in a passionate romance, and Qiangzi wasn’t willing to be left out, joining in the fun. Word was that their enthusiasm was off the charts.

“It’s over. Damn it. She said I look creepy. What took her so long? I didn’t even wear makeup at first,” Haozi complained. He was short and stocky and looked nothing like a prince, even in a dragon robe.

“And you?” Chu Dong asked Qiangzi.

“I’m worse. I shamelessly trailed behind Haozi for over a month as a third wheel, but I was too busy shining myself to get anywhere with anyone,” Qiangzi said, quite dejected.

“That bad? Damn, you guys wasted your time with me,” Chu Dong put down his book, annoyed. “You embarrass yourselves, don’t even say you know me.”

“Dong Ge, you don’t understand. Girls these days are just impossible to figure out. I followed your advice to the letter, both mentally and materially. But now they just don’t care,” Haozi said helplessly.

“Yeah, Dong Ge, you say I’m better than Haozi, but he still manages to date girls. I haven’t gotten a single one. Isn’t that maddening?” Qiangzi was baffled.

“You’re better than me? Bullshit. You’re just a bit taller from eating less rice. With your IQ, you wouldn’t even weigh two ounces on a scale,” Haozi shot back immediately.

“Two ounces? At least half a catty,” Qiangzi retorted, getting defensive.

“One catty! Is that enough?” Tan Xue, ever the dutiful one, brought over a fruit plate and sat beside Chu Dong.

Her arrival quelled the bickering between Haozi and Qiangzi. The two drooled over her, and Qiangzi, feeling no outsider’s shame, shamelessly asked, “Sister-in-law, tell us, what attracts you to Dong Ge? We want to learn.”

“Who, him?” Tan Xue glanced back at Chu Dong, who was pretending not to hear. “Does he have any good qualities? Thick-skinned, creepy, a rogue, violent…” she counted on her fingers.

“Hey, that sounds like praise,” Chu Dong could no longer feign ignorance. Otherwise, it’d be personal insult.

“Who said that was praise?” Tan Xue stood up. “I’m going back to sleep. Spending too much time with you wolves will corrupt me.” She warned Chu Dong, “And drink less alcohol!”

Chu Dong handed a chess book to each of Haozi and Qiangzi. “Alright, stop looking. Go home.”

“Hehe, Dong Ge, teach us a couple of moves,” Qiangzi quickly responded, squatting down and rubbing his legs to win favor.

“Here’s the deal: tomorrow I’ll take you there. It’s just little girls, right? Tomorrow, just follow my lead. Obey your leader, and those girls will be easy to catch,” Chu Dong became cocky as soon as Tan Xue left.

“Boss, what about me? Can I still win her back? I really like her,” Haozi was honestly infatuated.

“No problem, piece of cake.” Chu Dong popped a slice of apple into his mouth, eyes squinting in enjoyment.

Early the next morning, Qiangzi and Haozi rushed over from downtown, treating Chu Dong like a deity and helping him into Haozi’s car.

“Boss, what’s the plan? We’re all ears,” Qiangzi grinned, squeezing next to Chu Dong.

“Yeah, Dong Ge, where to now?” Haozi turned back to ask.

“To the mall. Just by looking at your suits, I can tell you’re dressed wrong,” Chu Dong said, glancing at the sharply dressed pair. “I don’t know if you’re trying to pick up girls or negotiate a business deal. What’s going on?”

“Alright. Listening to the boss. I’m going all out today, no matter the cost. For happiness, let’s go!” Qiangzi raised his arm enthusiastically.

Haozi drove to the Jin Hui Mall on Xi’an Road, parked, and the two followed Chu Dong inside.

“First, know your audience. Girls these days value freedom. Dressing so formally only puts pressure on them—that’s a big no-no. The second floor is full of boys’ clothes, ending with sportswear. Don’t pick dark colors. Show some vitality. You’re not kids anymore, but still acting like you’re trying to flirt. Don’t you know to dress up for yourself?” Chu Dong lectured as they walked.

Qiangzi and Haozi nodded in agreement, feeling the advice was golden.

“Choose the right brands—definitely name brands like Jeanswest, Baleno, Metersbonwe. Don’t pick anything too fancy, or they’ll think you’re burning money…”

“Clothes should fit well. No saggy crotches or baggy pants. What kind of look is that?”

“Stand up straight. Don’t look like you just woke up…”

“Roll up your sleeves a bit. Wear these wristbands…”

“No more sweaters; look around, no one wears that much…”

After some serious coaching, Qiangzi and Haozi looked like completely different people, eagerly admiring themselves in the mirror.

“Not bad, boss, this is interesting,” Qiangzi grinned.

“Of course! Who else but Dong Ge, the so-called ‘girl slayer’? Even the prettiest girls in our class used to stare at him in elementary school…” Haozi flattered shamelessly.

“Come on, big brother will take you to pick up girls,” Chu Dong led the two out of Jin Hui. Haozi drove to the university gate.

“Find a place to park outside, take out your wallets, let me see,” Chu Dong instructed, reclining in the back seat.

Qiangzi and Haozi hurriedly handed over their wallets.

“Are you crazy? Why carry so much cash?” Chu Dong exclaimed after seeing their huge wallets stuffed with cards and thick stacks of bills. He took some out, counted a few, slipped them back in, and pocketed the rest. “Don’t look like country bumpkins. Just a few bills will do. Don’t go to fancy places for food; McDonald’s or KFC is enough. If you can’t stand it, just get some rice noodles. Girls like that vibe.”

Returning the now-thin wallets, Qiangzi and Haozi exchanged looks. “Boss, what’s next?”

“Lean in,” Chu Dong said with a sly smile.

They approached, and after hearing him out, their faces lit up. They jumped out of the car; Qiangzi headed straight into the school, Haozi went into a flower shop.

Half an hour later, they returned, heads together.

“What’s going on? You were so excited when you left. Why do you look like you got frostbitten?” Chu Dong asked anxiously, tapping their heads.

“Boss, it didn’t work,” Qiangzi held his aching forehead, frowning.

“Yeah, got rejected again. Totally crushed,” Haozi sighed, slumping over the steering wheel.

“No way. Don’t blame my plan if you screwed up yourselves,” Chu Dong, a legendary ladies’ man, was protective of his reputation.

“I followed your pick-up line exactly. I sat outside the teaching building, saw a beauty coming, and shouted, ‘Your shoelace is untied.’” Qiangzi recounted.

“And then?” Haozi perked up.

“She said her shoes don’t have laces,” Qiangzi was frustrated.

“That shouldn’t get you beaten up, right?” Before Chu Dong could ask, Haozi interjected anxiously.

“No, it was her boyfriend nearby who almost hit me. If I weren’t worried he’d call for backup, I’d have taught him a lesson,” Qiangzi wiped sweat off his face, still annoyed.

“Damn, you were lucky not to get killed for picking a fight when he was right there,” Chu Dong fumed. “Is this how you pick up girls? You’re just courting death.”

“I didn’t get beaten, but while tying balloons to flowers outside her dorm, the matron kicked me out. Then I saw the girl I liked walking off with some other guy,” Haozi mourned.

“So tragic, so tragic,” Chu Dong said regretfully. “I think you two just need more practice. Do you really want me to demonstrate over something this trivial?”

“Boss, you’re here. You can’t let us leave empty-handed, right? How about you give it a try? We’ll watch and learn,” Qiangzi and Haozi smiled obsequiously, full of hope.

—End of the chapter.

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