Chapter 6: A Piece of Meat, A Single Question

"How could..."

The London plane tree instinctively tried to deny it, but its mouth kept opening and closing without being able to produce a single sound.

"Let me guess again. Are you unable to lie?" Liu Zheng raised an eyebrow.

The London plane tree simply clamped its mouth shut.

"What is the best thing you possess?" He rolled his eyes, tentatively asking.

"I cannot lie, but that doesn't mean I am obligated to tell you, you idiot human." Seeing that its secret was exposed, the tree’s attitude turned nasty immediately.

"Then let's make a deal, Mr. Tree." Liu Zheng spread his hands.

"I won't make deals with humans... oh, this is fucking annoying." The London plane tree cursed.

"You toss the crutch over, and I'll toss the urine to you," he said, suppressing a laugh.

"Why should I trust you?" the London plane tree asked arrogantly.

"Want a drink? Not urine that tastes like booze, but real alcohol. And fruit juice, cola, coffee, milk tea..."

"Wait, wait. You can get all those?" The London plane tree’s branches straightened up.

"Don't forget, I'm a delivery driver for the Bloody Restaurant," Liu Zheng said, pointing to his uniform.

"I know. If you weren't a restaurant employee, I would have eaten you by now." The London plane tree rolled its eyes. Several branches snapped out like vipers, circling above his head as if to show off.

He felt a jolt of alarm. He had thought it was out of attack range, but it turned out it just hadn't met certain conditions yet. It seemed the identity of a restaurant employee was indeed a layer of protective camouflage; no wonder Niu Ma told him to be bolder out there.

"I can't guarantee I'll definitely get them, but I promise that whenever I do get drinks, I'll bring them to you to trade," Liu Zheng said.

"Fine, human. You've convinced me." The tree's branches twitched twice. "You have to say: 'I am sincerely making a deal with you, human.'"

"I am sincerely... oh, purée!" The London plane tree cursed again.

Liu Zheng watched silently as it had a breakdown, its branches and leaves shaking wildly.

"Fine. I am sincerely willing to make a deal with you, human." After a moment, the London plane tree finally accepted reality.

"Then answer a question for me first: how can I complete the trade safely?"

"As long as you don't step on the soil or take my things without permission, I cannot attack you," the London plane tree said readily.

Around it lay a circle of soil about two meters in diameter, the color of the earth nearly black.

"Then toss the crutch over, and give me a container for the urine," Liu Zheng said.

"Zut, why have humans become so smart lately?" The tree complained while throwing the human-bone crutch and a rusty tin can toward him.

"Because the stupid ones have all been eaten by you," he sneered.

"What do you have to be dissatisfied about, human? You use our limbs for warmth, eat our embryos, and suck our sap," the London plane tree said with disdain.

"You're right." Liu Zheng nodded and returned to the camphor tree. He had no intention of debating this tree; he had neither the interest nor the time.

After pouring out his supply, Liu Zheng walked up to the London plane tree with the tin can. Stepping to the edge of the black soil, he aimed the opening of the can at the London plane tree's mouth.

"Mince, what are you doing?" the tree shouted.

"Feeding you pee. What's the problem?" Liu Zheng asked, confused. Was it so urgent just a moment ago, and now it was being picky?

"A tree, I am a tree, do you understand? This mouth is just a decoration; the roots are my mouth." The London plane tree rolled its eyes.

"Alright, my mistake." He shrugged and poured the liquid, which reeked of strong alcohol, onto the tree root.

"Bien! That's the taste." The London plane tree wore a look of intoxication.

"Glad you like it. See you later, Mr. Tree, I have to get to work." Liu Zheng dropped the tin can on the ground.

"Don't call me Mr. Tree. I have a name. Call me De Gaulle," the tree said indignantly.

"Very well, Mr. De Gaulle." He followed suit readily.

"You... oh, whatever. I won't lower myself to the level of a stupid human like you. Listen, if you can get me a bottle of 53-degree Ascension Moutai, I can give you something truly good."

"I'll do my best." Liu Zheng nodded. If Niu Ma could get one bottle, he should be able to get a second.

"You won't be disappointed, human. If you want to survive working in the restaurant, you will definitely need it," De Gaulle said pointedly.

Leaving the man-eating tree behind, he set off again. This trip for the urine had wasted quite a bit of time, but fortunately, the new item was enough to make up for it.

"By the way, how do I use this thing?" Liu Zheng asked himself, waving the crutch a few times.

"The crutch, it’s just a crutch, you stupid, suspicious human," De Gaulle’s irritable voice came from behind.

"Oh, thanks," he said without looking back. Nice, it even came with after-sales service.

*Tap, tap, tap, tap...*

With the rhythmic sound of the crutch striking the ground, Liu Zheng felt his legs become much lighter. "Faster with a crutch than walking normally—transcendence is truly interesting." He shook his head and quickened his pace. He didn't have much time left.

***

Rushing as hard as he could, Liu Zheng finally arrived at his destination with 10 minutes to spare.

Merlin Residential Complex.

There was a guard booth at the entrance. The guard inside was leaning back in his chair with his face covered by a wide-brimmed hat, seemingly slacking off and sleeping. Liu Zheng stared at the booth for a few moments and decided not to initiate contact. Fortunately, even though the complex had a security gate, one could slip in beside the parking barrier. Liu Zheng tentatively stepped one foot in, observed the booth, and only after seeing the guard didn't react did he bring his other foot in. This instance was filled with strange rules; one had to be careful without any hints.

"Building 3, Unit 503. Which one is Building 3?" The complex wasn't large, but he walked around quickly and found no labels on the buildings.

"Looks like I'll have to find someone to ask." Liu Zheng sighed. Delivering takeout was such a hassle; the workers in this world truly had it rough. He returned to the entrance and knocked on the window of the guard booth.

"Excuse me," Liu Zheng called out.

The guard sat up as if startled from a dream, but his hand didn't move from his hat. "What is it?" he asked. His voice was hoarse and thin, like a castrato who had smoked too much.

"I'm a delivery driver from the Bloody Restaurant. Could I trouble you to tell me which one is Building 3?"

When he heard the words "Bloody Restaurant," the guard’s hat seemed to tremble.

"A piece of meat," the guard said.

"What kind of meat?"

"Any meat will do. A piece of meat to answer a question," the guard replied.

Liu Zheng looked at the takeout box; the fish head inside should satisfy the condition. But there would surely be a penalty for stealing from the order. He checked his phone—six minutes left. Since he couldn't steal the food, he would have to find meat elsewhere.

"Give me a knife," Liu Zheng said.

"Not necessary." The guard removed his hat, and an eel-like head swayed in the air. Its smooth, scaleless top split open, revealing circle after circle of tiny, sharp teeth. It swam quickly toward Liu Zheng and pressed against his body, slithering around as if looking for a good place to bite.

"Hurry up. If I don't make this delivery, we'll both be in trouble," Liu Zheng said, suppressing his discomfort and trying to intimidate it.

Perhaps the threat worked. The eel-head stopped moving and bit into his arm. The pain of having flesh gouged out made cold sweat bead on Liu Zheng's forehead, but he gritted his teeth and didn't cry out. Miraculously, when the eel-head pulled away, he found that there was no wound on his arm.

"That building," the guard said, pointing with his thick, short finger.

"Thank you." Liu Zheng ignored the lingering pain and ran toward Building 3.