Chapter 44: Never Returning Empty-Handed

A pungent, heavy fishy odor invaded Liu Zheng's nasal passages.

In a daze, he seemed to see a massive salmon lunging right at him.

Reflexively, Liu Zheng raised a tentacle to block it, only to find a harpoon materialized in his hand out of nowhere.

"Harpoon it."

A voice reminded him.

He took a deep breath and thrust the harpoon straight into the salmon's head.

Grayish-white blood gushed out in a steady stream.

"Squawk!"

The salmon whipped its tail in agony, emitting a sound like a human infant crying.

"Warning: Rationality value is decreasing."

Liu Zheng reached out and grabbed, but his hand closed only on a clump of cat fur.

"Why are you grabbing me, meow?"

The calico cat turned its head, looking utterly bewildered.

"Nothing."

He smiled and wiped his hand off.

The system notification appeared once more.

"Player has acquired the 'Never Skunked' status, lasting for one dungeon."

"Never Skunked: Significantly increases fishing success rate and enhances resistance to sanity pollution from aquatic creatures."

Good grief, this was an absolute dream come true for any avid angler.

Although he had lost some sanity, Liu Zheng felt it was well worth it.

Even though there was no opportunity to fish right now, that did not mean there wouldn't be one later.

Besides, there were quite a few fish dishes among the takeout orders.

With this status, he wouldn't have to worry about dropping san again.

After washing a few more baskets of vegetables, the White-Feathered Chicken called out to Liu Zheng.

"Come taste the dish."

It scooped up a spoonful of soup and handed it to Liu Zheng.

The broth was a pale yellowish hue, thick and viscous, with several fine black threads swimming around inside, complete with heads and tails.

"My sense of taste is shot; my boss knows about this."

He hastily blurted out.

"That is true."

Ox-Horse nodded in agreement.

"Stop pretending, your sense of taste has already recovered."

The White-Feathered Chicken pierced through his lie.

Between his high constitution and "Flesh Regeneration," Liu Zheng's taste buds had fully recovered by this morning.

"But I don't know how to critique food."

He tried to put up a final struggle.

Although there was no system prompt, just by looking at it, one could tell this soup was nothing wholesome.

"The guest is a human, and I can't quite gauge it myself."

The White-Feathered Chicken said frankly.

"Then we could let..."

Liu Zheng glanced around, meeting the gazes of a group of demonic freaks and spirits.

"Sigh."

Resigned to his fate, he took the soup spoon and shoved it into his mouth.

"What does it taste like?"

The White-Feathered Chicken asked.

"Spicy."

Liu Zheng grimaced, baring his teeth.

"Mm, and what else?"

The White-Feathered Chicken pulled out a small notebook and jotted it down.

"Sour."

Saliva began to flow uncontrollably, stretching into thin threads that dripped toward the floor.

"And what else?"

"Numbing."

He spoke with a thick tongue, feeling his head buzzing persistently.

"Anything else?"

The White-Feathered Chicken pressed further.

"A bit salty, and there's an indescribable fishy stench."

"William, add two sprigs of rosemary and a small pinch of bay leaves. Toss in two salt-leeches to absorb the excess sodium; three seconds will be enough."

The White-Feathered Chicken turned and barked out orders.

The duck named William made an OK gesture, plucked two fat, leech-like creatures from a nearby petri dish, and dropped them into the soup.

"Ugh..."

Liu Zheng watched with a violently twitching eyelid.

"How about now?"

The White-Feathered Chicken asked again.

"It lost its flavor."

He smacked his lips, and then his expression changed abruptly.

"I feel something crawling down my throat."

"That's a normal phenomenon, no need to be nervous."

As the White-Feathered Chicken spoke, it pulled out a gas mask.

"Then why are you putting on a gas mask?"

Liu Zheng narrowed his eyes at it.

"That's also standard procedure, no need to be nervous. Is everyone ready?"

The White-Feathered Chicken shouted loudly.

"Ready."

The chorus of responses echoed one after another.

He looked left and right; every single kitchen staff member had donned a gas mask.

Except for him and Ox-Horse.

"Alright, you may release it now."

The White-Feathered Chicken instructed.

"Release what?"

The moment the question left Liu Zheng's mouth, his stomach emitted a violent, churning rumble.

His eyes widened in horror, his gluteal muscles clenched and released, and a blast of foul gas immediately erupted.

"Rat-tat-tat! Rat-tat-tat!"

Sounds resembling rapid-fire heavy machine gun bursts echoed continuously, inflating Liu Zheng's trousers like balloons.

A suffocating stench rapidly dispersed through the air, so acrid it forced his eyes shut.

"Turn on the ventilation! Full power!"

The White-Feathered Chicken commanded.

A kitchen employee immediately activated the ventilation system, and the deafening roar of a massive motor filled the room.

A full half-minute later, Liu Zheng finally stopped venting.

The moment he saw his trouser legs deflate, he felt an almost overwhelming urge to burst into tears.

Thank goodness none of these fellows were human; otherwise, he wouldn't even be able to remain one himself.

"My negligence, I forgot you're not entirely human."

The White-Feathered Chicken removed its gas mask, looking dead serious.

"Hold on, if he eats this, won't the other guests mind?"

Liu Zheng questioned.

"That's a VIP guest; he has his own private dining room."

The White-Feathered Chicken explained.

"He'll still find the smell unbearable inside."

"Who knows? I just cook the food; customer experience is the service department's problem."

The White-Feathered Chicken shrugged and walked off on its own.

He curled his lip, preparing to resume washing vegetables, when he saw Ox-Horse charging toward him with a ferocious expression.

"Oh no!"

Liu Zheng was startled out of his wits.

Ox-Horse hadn't been wearing a gas mask just a moment ago.

He immediately dropped his vegetable basket and scrambled to the other side of the prep station.

"Get over here, I promise I won't beat you to death."

Ox-Horse clawed at the edge of the counter, panting heavily.

There were still tear stains lingering at the corners of its eyes, making it obvious it had taken the brunt of the gas.

"Do I look like an idiot?"

Liu Zheng scoffed at its promise.

"Besides, I didn't want to fart either. Every debt has its debtor, go find Napoleon."

"The fart came out of your ass, if I don't look for you, who should I look for?"

Ox-Horse glared furiously.

"Well, you were the one who brought me into the kitchen in the first place. If you hadn't brought me in, how would I have farted?"

He retorted sharply.

"You little punk, you're just asking for a beating."

Furious, Ox-Horse took two steps back, preparing to vault right over.

"All right, what are you making a fuss over a little fart for?"

The White-Feathered Chicken stepped in to mediate.

"You have the nerve to say that? Why didn't you give me a gas mask?"

Ox-Horse shifted its target.

"Why the hell should I give you one? I haven't even settled accounts with you over that bottle of Vlad III from last time."

The White-Feathered Chicken flew into a rage, its comb turning a bloody, vibrant crimson.

"What, want to go another round?"

Its talons gouged the floor, leaving deep, plow-like scratches in the stainless steel surface.

"Heh, that's all in the past, why keep bringing it up?"

Ox-Horse forced an awkward laugh.

"Hmph. Not fighting, are we? If not, get out there and pick up the shipment."

"Smuggled goods?"

Ox-Horse frowned.

"That's right. That last batch slipped past inspection, and I ate that loss. But after losing so many hands, I'm not going to take this lying down."

"Since you're not part of the kitchen staff, help me vent this frustration."

The White-Feathered Chicken nodded heavily.

" Those people aren't easy to deal with. What's in it for me?"

Ox-Horse asked.

"The Vlad III incident is even. As for your subordinate here, I can reward him with a glass of golden mead."

The White-Feathered Chicken glanced at Liu Zheng as it spoke.

"So generous?"

Ox-Horse looked over at Liu Zheng as well.

"Are you going or not? Let's get this straight, if a real fight breaks out, I might not be able to watch your back."

It stated.

"What is golden mead?"

Liu Zheng asked.

"You've already gone mad once, haven't you?"

The White-Feathered Chicken countered with a question.

"Yes."

He admitted frankly.

These days, having a mental breakdown wasn't shameful; not going crazy meant you weren't even human.

"Go mad one more time, and you'll get to hear the gospel again."

The White-Feathered Chicken said softly, its voice lingering in the air.