Chapter 34: If You Have Money, You Must Spend It

"Burp~~~"

The Ox-Horse let out an impressively long belch. In front of it lay a small mountain of food containers and various empty liquor bottles.

"You didn't spend all your money, did you?" Liu Zheng frowned.

"Of course not. These are all leftovers; they’re dirt cheap. Do you want some? There should still be a bit left in the kitchen." The Ox-Horse was surprisingly loyal.

"That won't be necessary," he shook his head. The system had determined they weren't items, and eating them would be useless. If not for the potential effects of items, he wouldn't touch this "dark cuisine" even if a ghost forced him to. The half-eaten raw pickled maggot the Ox-Horse had just consumed was thicker than his own tentacles.

"Speaking of which, after you snatched that bottle of Vlad III last time, are the kitchen staff still willing to sell you their leftovers?"

"There are no eternal enemies, only eternal interests. It’s not like I didn't pay. Besides, who else would help them move their stock?" The Ox-Horse bobbed its head.

"Doesn't the kitchen have its own procurement?"

"They do, but they're restricted to fixed routes. Unlike us, as long as we deliver on time, we can go wherever we want," the Ox-Horse boasted.

Liu Zheng pondered this. It seemed each of the three job roles had its own pros and cons. If he joined the kitchen, the benefit would likely be access to cheap food. As for the waiter position, the benefit was receiving tips from customers.

"Can you get me another bottle of red wine?" he asked.

"No way, no way." The Ox-Horse shook its head as if it were a high-speed dog. "I told you, it's a limited edition. You think it's tap water?"

"I didn't say it had to be Vlad III. Something a bit lower tier is fine," Liu Zheng insisted.

"What, are you planning to give it to that tree?" The Ox-Horse understood instantly.

"Yes."

"You're crazy. Do you think that tree is some kind of good thing? You treat it like a friend; it treats you like food." The Ox-Horse sneered.

"And what about you?"

"At the very least, I'd only beat you to death. If I'm in a good mood, I might even find you a nice plot of land for your next life to be reincarnated as an ox or a horse," the Ox-Horse argued righteously.

"It eats what it eats, and I give thanks for what I give. They don't conflict," Liu Zheng was stubborn. Without that "emergency ration," the money they earned would be cut in half.

"Damn it, you humans are so pretentious." The Ox-Horse grumbled as it walked out.

A few minutes later, it called him. "No red wine left. Want a case of 'Maozi'?"

"Maozi?"

"The 'Ascension Maotai' you drank last time, though this is the fifteen-year-old vintage," the Ox-Horse said.

"Didn't you say you only sold leftovers?"

"This entire case of Maotai was contaminated, so they have to get rid of it."

"If it's contaminated, why the hell would I buy it?"

"You can't drink it, but that tree probably can. Only 10,000 for a whole case—where else are you going to find Maotai that cheap?"

"Alright, put it on my tab, I'll pay you back later," Liu Zheng thought for a moment.

After a while, the Ox-Horse returned, lugging a case of liquor. Opening it, he saw six beautifully packaged bottles. However, the originally pure white porcelain was stained with colorful, blotchy blemishes. Just looking at them for a few seconds made him feel dizzy.

"Name: 15-Year Ascension Maotai (Contaminated)"
"Type: Item"
"Quality: Excellent"
"Effect 1: Gain 'Drunken' status."
"Effect 2: Gain 'Bliss' status."
"Effect 3: Gain 'Hemolysis' status."
"Can be brought out of the instance: Yes"
"Note: Pain is pleasure; Hell is Heaven. Praise the Supreme Blissful Heavenly Venerate."
"Drunken: Player's spirit and perception temporarily decrease; strength and constitution temporarily increase; immune to certain mental attacks."
"Bliss: All sensations are converted into pleasure; pain-converted pleasure is doubled."
"Hemolysis: Player's blood becomes highly corrosive."

Good grief, one bottle and you're off to die in ecstasy, huh? Liu Zheng twitched. This thing was even more sinister than the Black Goat spawn eyeball sashimi.

"What exactly was it contaminated with?" he asked.

"No idea. Seems like something went wrong during the smuggling process." The Ox-Horse shook its head.

"Smuggling?"

"Duh. If it had gone through official channels, it would've been returned immediately. It wouldn't have been your turn to pick up a bargain." The Ox-Horse gave him a look that said, *you ungrateful brat.*

"Oh. Can I return it?" Liu Zheng asked.

"Sure," the Ox-Horse nodded.

"Oh?"

"Go return it yourself."

"Tch." He knew it.

After chatting for a while longer, a ghostly hand reached in. Predictably, it gave Liu Zheng the middle finger again.

"Little guy, you're quite persistent," he chuckled. Then, taking advantage of the Ox-Horse’s distraction, he grabbed a bottle of liquor and shoved it into the ghost hand's grip.

"Hey!" The Ox-Horse immediately squawked.

"How much of a kickback did you get for that case of Maotai?" Liu Zheng asked, turning his head.

"Mmm, these chicken feet are stewed quite tender," the Ox-Horse muttered, eyes fixed on its food.

He looked back and saw the ghost hand raise the bottle toward him three times before retreating.

"What does that mean? Does it want me to find it after midnight?" Liu Zheng was puzzled.

"It means it wants three more bottles," the Ox-Horse interjected.

"Really?"

"Fake."

"Heh." He mentally gave the Ox-Horse the middle finger. But it was worth a try; he had the money now.

"Boss, save three bottles for me," Liu Zheng said.

"You actually believe it? Fine, whatever." These were low-quality liquors anyway; the total wasn't even worth as much as the kickback from the Maotai case.

"Who’s taking this order?" He picked up the delivery slip.

"I’ll leave it to you," the Ox-Horse said, feigning generosity. It was already considering packing up and running away, so it had no enthusiasm for work.

"Fine." Liu Zheng shrugged. He wanted to test the effects of the Legendary Delivery Box anyway.

He checked the contents of the slip:
"Item: Garlic Mi-Go Brains"
"Address: Jiahe New Residence, Building 7, 1503."
"Deadline: Within one hour."

Liu Zheng checked the map; it was about four kilometers away. Plenty of time. He strapped on the delivery box, grabbed the Maotai and a black bag, and stepped out of the lounge.

Opening the container on the delivery cart, a wave of garlicky heat rose up. Beneath a thick layer of garlic sauce lay a purplish-red oval mass covered in short, squirming tentacles. It looked alive; the tentacles waved back and forth in a rhythmic pattern. Liu Zheng felt as if he could hear a faint, buzzing murmur in the air.

"Rationality reduction immunity successful." The system prompt suddenly rang out, snapping him back to reality.

"Man, this one's a tough nut to crack." He plugged his ears with two tentacles and looked at the item description.

"Name: Garlic Mi-Go Brains"
"Type: Item"
"Quality: Excellent"
"Effect: Small chance to gain 'Telepathy' ability; small chance to gain 'Ear of the Soul' status."
"Note: Freddy the red-headed Mi-Go, whispering in the dark night."
"Can be brought out of the instance: Yes"
"Telepathy: Player gains the ability to communicate mentally with others, ignoring language and race."
"Ear of the Soul: Player can hear sounds that normal people cannot."

"This really is a tough one," Liu Zheng sighed. While telepathy was a tempting ability, the 'Ear of the Soul' effect sounded lethal. What kind of "good" sound could a normal person *not* hear? If a normal person couldn't hear it, could it possibly be a good sound? Especially in this bizarre world—it might be fine while the Legendary Uniform was active, but once he finished the delivery and headed back, he’d probably be losing sanity the whole way.

If anyone wants to eat this brain, be my guest.

Liu Zheng shook his head and walked toward the dark corridor.