Chapter 21: Why Are You Yelling So Loudly?

“Mr. Tree, I’ve brought you another delivery.”
Approaching the dark soil, Liu Zheng said with a cheerful smile.

“How many times have I told you, don’t call me Mr. Tree. It sounds awful.”
French Sycamore said disdainfully.

“Then, Boss Dai?”
He changed his form of address.

“I’m Dai Lego, not surname Dai and given name Lego!”
French Sycamore said in frustration.

“Alright, alright, then what’s your surname?”
Liu Zheng replied good-naturedly.

“My surname... why the hell do you care? Get to the point.”
French Sycamore snapped, both annoyed and embarrassed.

This guy surely knows what I’m about, right?
He was a little suspicious.

Of course, he wouldn’t bluntly expose him.

“I brought you a bottle of this. See if you like it.”
Liu Zheng pulled out a vial of Red-eyed Snake Mackerel essence extract.

“Oh, it’s this stuff.”
Dai Lego perked up.

“You know it?”
“Enema, who doesn’t know that? But I heard Red-eyed Snake Mackerel is cut off now. Where did you get it?”
Dai Lego asked.

“It came in the staff meal.”
He replied.

“Tsk tsk, no wonder the restaurant is so flush with cash.”
Dai Lego envied.

“You, local nouveau riche, still short of this stuff?”
Liu Zheng half-jokingly teased.

“Even landlords run out of reserves. Besides, what I can get depends on luck. There’s no freedom like the restaurant’s. If I want something, I have to buy it myself.”

“Not to mention, if I could buy my own drinks, no way I’d do business with you at a loss.”
Dai Lego sighed.

These transactions had mostly been small losses for him; the time he swapped the legendary delivery guy’s vest was an even bigger loss.

If there were better options, he wouldn’t be doing such foolish things.

“Is it really that bad? Then this bottle of enema is yours.”
Liu Zheng generously offered.

“Don’t try to fool me. You humans are cunning—give a little and expect tenfold in return.”
Dai Lego snorted.

“As expected of a tree prodigy with French aristocratic blood, my little schemes can’t fool you.”
He clapped vigorously.

“Hmph, you do have some insight. Ate a bunch of Black Death Birds yesterday, definitely need to detox. So, what do you want in exchange?”
Dai Lego asked.

“I had a bit of a clash with the security guard at Green Laurel Garden’s Crazy City. Got anything to deal with him?”
Liu Zheng asked.

Last time he managed to bluff that guy, but this time was uncertain.

“You have a vest, what’s there to fear? Can’t beat him, just run away.”
Dai Lego said oddly.

“The vest deactivates right after delivery.”
He explained.

“Oh, that’s a thing.”
French Sycamore suddenly realized.

He had kept the vest hidden deep in the roots and hadn’t taken it out to admire it for a while, so he’d somewhat forgotten.

“I do have something, but your bottle of enema is definitely not enough.”
French Sycamore rolled his eyes.

“Didn’t you say Red-eyed Snake Mackerel is out of stock? Other enemas can’t be as effective, right?”
Liu Zheng raised an eyebrow.

“Purée! Why do humans have such good memories?”
Dai Lego grumbled.

Pricing is subjective, so when he said the enema’s value wasn’t enough, it wasn’t exactly a lie.

But Liu Zheng caught a loophole in his words, and Dai Lego couldn’t deny it.

The roots dug deep into the soil and finally pulled out a pair of sneakers.

“Name: Fashion Skate Sneakers (Disposable)”
“Type: Item”
“Quality: Excellent”
“Effect: Instantly glide 100 meters upon use.”
“Remarks: My skateboard shoes, the most fashionable of all.”
“Can be taken out of the dungeon: Yes”

Two hundred meters should be enough to escape the security guard’s attack range.

Liu Zheng nodded in satisfaction and put on the sneakers.

Honestly, hooves wearing shoes felt a bit awkward.

He recalled the cats and dogs that their owners put shoes on and empathized deeply.

“Let’s go.”
Liu Zheng waved his tentacles.

“Shoo, shoo, shoo.”
French Sycamore said impatiently, then closed his eyes.

“Want me to keep you company a bit more?”
He teased.

“What’s there to talk about with a human like you?”
French Sycamore squinted.

“Well, there’s no other tree around to talk to you. You must be lonely staying here all day.”
Liu Zheng spoke with some sympathy.

“Heh, guess why the other trees are all idiots?”

“Why?”

“Because all their nutrients were absorbed by me.”
French Sycamore sneered.

“Impressive. Let’s go.”
Liu Zheng gave a thumbs-up and stared intently at him.

“What are you looking at?”
French Sycamore was puzzled.

“Nothing, just curious to see what kind of mess a tree makes after drinking enema.”
He said with interest.

“Zut! If you don’t scram, it’ll be you making the mess!”
French Sycamore exploded in rage.

“You really should drink more, look at that temper—you’re about to stink up the place.”
Before Dai Lego could lose his temper, Liu Zheng pulled up his hooves and ran off.

He awkwardly made his way to Green Laurel Garden’s Crazy City, where the on-duty security guard was still the half-gray-haired one.

He wasn’t in the guard booth but was pacing at the entrance, smoking.

Seeing Liu Zheng approach from afar, his face darkened, and he hurried back inside the booth.

Liu Zheng was displeased and walked over, pounding hard on the glass.

The guard gave him a sideways glance but ignored him.

“Hey!”

Liu Zheng swung his tentacles, delivering a fierce series of strikes.

Not bad—the glass was really high quality; after all that pounding, there wasn’t a single crack.

“Are you crazy or what?”

The security guard finally lost it and yelled.

“Why are you shouting so loud?”

Liu Zheng shouted back even louder.

“What you’re doing is none of your business. Just hurry up and deliver your lousy food.”

The guard was momentarily speechless.

“No rush on the delivery. How about you give me a cigarette first?”

“Dream on.”

The guard refused without hesitation.

“You’re so stingy. Next time I’ll pay you back with a whole pack.”

Liu Zheng tried to persuade.

“Yeah, and I’m a ghost if I believe that. Shoo, shoo, shoo.”

The guard said impatiently.

“Really won’t give me one?”

“Nope.”

“Alright then.”

Liu Zheng shrugged and swung his tentacles again.

This time he was even more frantic than before.

After ten minutes of relentless drumming, the guard finally couldn’t take it anymore, lit three cigarettes, and tossed them over.

“Buy one, get two free? So generous.”

Liu Zheng smiled.

“Gotta smoke well to have a smooth trip.”

The guard gave a forced smile.

“Generous indeed.”

He bit the cigarette tip, patted the guard’s shoulder, and walked into the residential complex.

The guard stared at his back, eyes filled with both anger and surprise.

“By the way, might as well check out 606 while the vest is still active.”

Once inside, Liu Zheng had a sudden idea.

The woman’s writing was decent, just the angle and hook weren’t good. With his guidance, signing her contract would definitely be no problem.

Although she didn’t seem very wealthy, even a little money is still something.

With that thought, Liu Zheng’s hooves instinctively turned toward building 3A.

At the door of apartment 606, the security door had already been replaced with a new one.

He didn’t really understand the residents of this strange world. A door that could be broken by bare hands—what’s the point of it as a security door?

Probably for the sake of ceremony.

Liu Zheng shook his head and pressed the doorbell.

“Who is it?”

That same androgynous voice asked.

“It’s me, the delivery guy from yesterday.”

He replied.

“Oh, I’m coming.”

After a rush of footsteps, the door opened.

A young woman stood there wrapped only in a towel, her wet long hair cascading over curves barely concealed.

“No need to be in such a hurry.”

Liu Zheng spoke, eyes fixed unblinkingly.