Chapter 9: Dress Like a Person During Cutscenes

While Kobayashi was handling Wiz, Sato Kazuma was dealing with the other two members of the party.

“So, Kobayashi wants us to live together, right? Not a bad idea—I’m on board,” Darkness nodded in agreement.

One of the main reasons she became an adventurer was to make friends, and living with her comrades was something she had long looked forward to.

Megumin enthusiastically raised both hands in agreement.

“Living together sounds great! To be honest, I’m out of money right now. It’s not just eating grass anymore—I might end up living in the stable with the horses soon,” she said with genuine sorrow.

How did a great archmage who specializes in explosion magic end up in such a state? Other adventurers probably wouldn’t understand the reason.

But Sato Kazuma knew the cause: it was precisely because she only knew explosion magic!

So, from his perspective, Megumin’s fall to the point of living in a stable was hardly something to pity!

After dealing with these two, Kazuma turned his attention to the goddess, Aqua.

“Hey, Aqua, do you have anything to say? Although your opinion isn’t all that important,” he said, not out of arrogance but to clarify her stance.

Aqua was the type who, if not consulted beforehand—even if the outcome was good—might suddenly change her mind, causing trouble later. So it was better to ask her upfront.

But Aqua remained silent.

She sat quietly, head lowered in deep thought, her delicate brows slightly furrowed as if pondering something profound, radiating a calm and gentle aura befitting a goddess.

Kazuma was stunned.

This water goddess was nothing like the usual Aqua!

He recalled the first time they met, how he was deceived by her dignified, goddess-like demeanor.

“Hey, Aqua…”

“I’ve got it!” Aqua suddenly slammed her hand on the table, startling the three of them.

Her eyes gleamed as she said to Kazuma, “The reason I sleepwalk at night is because Kobayashi’s ring contains my divine power! A ring imbued with high-quality water attribute divine power—that’s why I end up embracing him in my sleep!”

“You’re still hung up on that,” Kazuma said, rubbing his forehead in frustration, “We’re talking about housing right now, can we discuss that later?”

“Wait a moment! What Aqua said interests me!” Megumin suddenly leaned toward her.

Darkness blushed and hurriedly joined in, “L-Last night you and Kobayashi w-were, w-was it an embrace?! What happened afterward? Are you two… that kind of relationship?! And the three of you are going to live together, right? What exactly happened last night? Explain it now!”

For some reason, the two of them were very curious.

Proud of her own deduction despite a limited intellect, Aqua wanted to show off.

“Well, actually last night…”

“Actually, last night Aqua really did sleepwalk! Right, Goddess-sama?!” Kazuma quickly covered Aqua’s mouth, glaring fiercely to warn her not to spill the beans.

“Mmmph mmmph mmmph…”

Aqua was speechless.

They were discussing the party’s living arrangements, yet last night’s chest attack incident kept looming over them.

Moreover, since Aqua often blamed others for her mistakes, if she spoke recklessly, it could cause Darkness and Megumin to distrust him and Kobayashi, potentially ruining the cohabitation plan.

This was the first mission entrusted to him as the leader—there was no way he would let it fail!

He wouldn’t allow it!

However, Kazuma didn’t realize that silencing Aqua might actually cause more misunderstandings.

“Was it really sleepwalking?” Megumin’s eyes were full of suspicion. “You two didn’t do something sneaky last night, did you?”

“It really was sleepwalking!” Kazuma insisted, speaking the truth.

Darkness, panting, grasped his hands tightly. “I believe you! Sleepwalking at night… is this the party’s usual activity?! Wonderful, really wonderful! I want in—no, please let me join!”

“Ouch—ouch! That hurts, that really hurts!” Kazuma shouted in pain, wailing, “It’s sleepwalking! I told you, it’s sleepwalking—not what you’re imagining~!”

The group made a ruckus in the corner, but at some point, the noisy guild suddenly fell silent.

Kazuma had experienced this before.

Back in school, the classroom would be filled with students whispering in small groups, like a low-volume noisy marketplace.

But at one moment, the classroom would suddenly go dead silent as everyone stopped talking.

Usually, this meant the homeroom teacher had arrived—or some notable person had appeared.

Clang! Clang! Clang!

The sound of metal striking metal came from the doorway at the end of the guild corridor.

A strange, oddly shaped iron can appeared.

A two-holed iron bucket as a helmet, a tattered scarf, heavy armor on the upper body, leather pants below, and studded tall boots.

On his back, a longbow; in his left hand, a longsword; at his waist, a short dagger; and hidden weapons at his knees... he looked utterly bizarre.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” said a muffled voice from inside the iron bucket.

Kazuma and the others exchanged glances.

“Who is that? Someone you know?”

“No idea, don’t know them,” everyone shook their heads.

“It’s me!” The iron bucket removed the helmet, revealing a handsome face.

“Kobayashi-senpai?!” they exclaimed in unison.

It was Kobayashi.

Darkness was thrilled. “Is this some kind of embarrassing play?! I want in too!”

“No, you’re misunderstanding—this isn’t cosplay,” Kobayashi shook his head.

Kazuma asked, “Kobayashi-senpai, why are you dressed like that?!”

“I actually prepared this equipment a long time ago. I used to be a lone wolf, but now I finally have the chance to wear it,” Kobayashi explained enthusiastically to everyone.

“Don’t let appearances fool you; this gear is powerful.

For example, the helmet not only effectively guards against cold arrows and hidden weapons, but it also has a magic circle inside to resist mental attacks to some extent.

The scarf boosts magic recovery; the armor forms a protective shield; and the boots even allow you to walk on vertical walls.

And there’s more…”

His excitement grew, resembling a net-addicted teenager showing off rare, powerful gear obtained in a game.

Kazuma understood, but the outfit was undeniably strange.

“Kobayashi-senpai, don’t you think you stand out too much?”

“What’s there to fear? I don’t care at all!” Kobayashi said proudly. “I’m a loyal Monster Hunter player!”

Monster Hunter players never care about fashion or looking cool—they always prioritize practicality and stats.

The gear might be strong, but it’s definitely ugly.

This leads to a phenomenon where characters in the game look bizarre and far from human.

Plus, Kobayashi is the kind of guy who can carry a stinky giant frog down the street without a care, so naturally, he doesn’t mind others’ opinions.

He doesn’t care, but some people do.

“Kobayashi-senpai, you’re likely to be mistaken for a demon lord’s army and get attacked!”

“No way, I’m human.”

“But your outfit doesn’t look like it at all!”

In games, there’s often a joke about “please dress like a normal person during cutscenes.”

Because the character’s appearance and clothing clash with the game’s environment, cutscenes can become unintentionally hilarious.

“Do I look more like a demon lord’s army?”

“You could say that.”

“But this gear really is amazing.”

“At least you should wear it properly as a set!”

After all, reality isn’t a game—wearing something so weird can really cause misunderstandings.

“How did it come to this…” Kobayashi was deeply hurt.

Kazuma said nothing, gently patting Kobayashi’s shoulder in comfort.

So, Kobayashi-senpai was also a problem child.