Chapter 7: I Can't Breathe!

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Kazuma Satou realized that, generally speaking, Senior Kobayashi was quite easy to get along with.

Take tonight’s lavish dinner, for example.

Logically, they had only defeated a giant frog and a berserk wild boar today, and the quest rewards they received were nowhere near enough to cover such an expensive meal.

Yet, Senior Kobayashi generously treated everyone.

Even when the foolish goddess, clearly drunk, began performing party tricks in the Adventurer’s Guild hall, Senior Kobayashi didn’t scold her loudly. Instead, he just watched her with a smile as she joked and laughed with the others.

Kazuma jokingly shouted, “Hey—Aqua, watch your image! Aren’t you ‘that one’?”

“‘That one’? What do you mean ‘that one’!”

Aqua was so drunk she didn’t even know who she was anymore.

Kobayashi waved his hand dismissively. “Forget it. Since this is the squad’s first gathering, let her be.”

Since Senior Kobayashi said so, Kazuma didn’t argue further.

“Kobayashi, I want to drink sparkling wine too.”

Megumin, seeing Aqua drink so freely, wanted to try as well.

“No, you can’t.”

Kobayashi refused decisively.

Megumin was displeased. “What do you mean? Aqua, Darkness, and Kazuma all can, why can’t I? Are you deliberately treating me differently?!”

She punched aggressively.

If Kobayashi didn’t provide a reasonable explanation, she might resort to explosive magic for clarification next.

To prevent her from going crazy, Kazuma quickly said, “Don’t be silly, little loli. You’re still underage, right? Do you want us all to get arrested by the guards?”

In Axel… or rather, in this other world, the laws regarding this matter were very strict. It was absolutely forbidden to sell or entice minors to drink alcohol; the penalties ranged from arrest to imprisonment.

By the way, the legal age here was fourteen, and Megumin still had a few months to go.

“L-little loli… you actually called me that.”

Megumin couldn’t hold back.

Indeed, she was the one lowering the squad’s average height, but due to childhood malnutrition, she couldn’t help it.

To catch up, she’d need some external help—like… rubbing, rubbing, and more rubbing. But that was a topic for later.

After being reprimanded, Megumin quieted down.

After everyone ate and drank to their fill, they each returned to their own homes.

Megumin was sent back by Darkness, while Kobayashi and the other two returned to the inn.

During the walk, Kazuma used the excuse that the goddess was too weak to carry to make Kobayashi the pack mule.

It was obvious Kobayashi just wanted to avoid trouble; Kazuma vowed to punish him someday by making him carry a giant frog.

Walking ahead, Kazuma didn’t notice Kobayashi’s sinister smile behind him, but he still felt a strange chill from behind, causing him to shiver involuntarily.

The three arrived at the inn without incident.

They threw the heavily drunk goddess onto the bed and took the floor to sleep.

The entire process went smoothly until lights out, when Kazuma suddenly sat up shouting, “No! This isn’t right!”

“What’s with the sudden fuss?”

Kobayashi turned the light back on, filling the room with a dim glow.

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“Why isn’t Senior Kobayashi sleeping in the bed?”

“Because I’m afraid of suffocating again.”

Being crushed by the idiot goddess’s chest once was humiliating enough; being crushed twice would be even worse. To avoid a repeat, he voluntarily gave up the bed to Aqua.

Kazuma then asked, “Then why didn’t we rent another room? Surely it shouldn’t be full again tonight?”

“Well… there’s a reason.”

Kobayashi shared his plan.

“On one hand, my savings are almost gone; on the other, I want to save up to buy a house.”

“Save up to buy a house? Why?”

“Well, since we’re a squad, it’s inconvenient to live scattered in different inns. If we live together, we can save a lot on accommodation and also build closer, deeper bonds. It’s killing two birds with one stone, isn’t it?”

“Now that you put it that way, it makes sense.”

Sharing meals and lodging, sharing joys and hardships—it sounded like the true adventurer life. Kazuma was quite eager for such a lifestyle.

“So I’ve decided that starting tomorrow, we’ll keep 30% of the quest rewards and split the rest evenly. Of course, individual quests won’t be taxed. Kazuma, what do you think of this plan?”

“Well, I don’t really mind.”

Although he didn’t object, he was a little worried. “It’s a good idea, but getting a big enough house for five people might be impossible in the short term.”

Today’s events made Kazuma deeply realize that except for Senior Kobayashi, no one in the squad was reliable.

The quest rewards couldn’t even cover tonight’s meal, let alone buying a house. The future looked bleak.

“Don’t worry, I already have a plan.”

Kobayashi said confidently.

Kazuma was surprised and hurriedly asked, “What plan, Senior Kobayashi?!”

“For now, I’ll keep it a secret.”

With a mysterious look, Kobayashi left Kazuma itching with curiosity.

But Kazuma was considerate enough not to pry; knowing when to step back and let others shine was one of his strengths.

Lights out again, they drifted into sleep.

In the middle of the night,

Kobayashi, asleep, suddenly felt chest tightness and difficulty breathing. Opening his eyes, he saw a cyan figure filling his vision—it was that his head was once more cradled in the arms of the foolish goddess.

“Again?!”

Eyes wide, anger rising.

Last time, a moment’s carelessness led to a near fatal accident. If this chest-crushing happened again, how could he face himself as the squad leader without being mocked?

Do you think being held by a beautiful goddess with perfect figure is enjoyable?

No way!

The one holding him was Aqua, whose intelligence rivaled that of a monkey king. No matter how much he degenerated, he couldn’t develop feelings for an idiot, much less make a move on her!

No, he had to teach her a lesson!

With this thought, Kobayashi, while he still had breath, wrapped his index finger behind her neck and cast a basic spell.

—Freeze!

The effect blew a stream of chilling cold wind. It was highly practical but lacked lethal power, making it a suitable beginner’s spell for teasing.

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The cold air passed over, and Aqua shivered.

Just as Kobayashi thought she’d loosen her hold, the foolish goddess, as if feeling cold in her sleep, murmured:

“So cold~”

Then she squeezed Kobayashi’s hands tighter, even wrapping her thighs around him, just like when she hugged the blanket at night.

This was bad! The spell was too weak to have effect!

Kobayashi thought grimly.

Now his breathing was being strangled. If this went on, he knew how it would end.

He increased the spell’s potency immediately, but Aqua only hugged him tighter in response.

Kobayashi’s face flushed bright red.

His strength wasn’t enough to break free from Aqua’s grip, and they were at a stalemate.

Who would give in first: Aqua, awakened by the magic’s power, or Kobayashi, who might run out of oxygen and die?

Just as Kobayashi sensed he was about to meet Eris again, Aqua finally reacted.

“—So cold!!!”

Her sleepy voice, tinged with a hint of crying, echoed in the silent room. Her limbs flailed, hitting the table leg and chair beside the bed, the scraping and banging waking Kazuma Satou from his sleep.

“What’s going on? What happened?”

Kazuma shouted irritably, turning on the ceiling light.

“Hey, idiot goddess, what kind of… madness are you causing at midnight… huh???”

The bright light filled the room, dispelling much of the drowsiness, but Kazuma felt like he wasn’t fully awake yet.

Because he saw Aqua in pajamas straddling Senior Kobayashi, whose face was flushed red (strained), his shirt disheveled, panting heavily. His eyes widened in disbelief.

He murmured, “Aqua, weren’t you satisfied joking around with those adventurers at the guild? Why are you making a move on Senior Kobayashi in secret at midnight? Are you really the pure goddess of water?!”

“It’s not what you think!”

Aqua naturally denied it.

But Kobayashi, beneath her, looked like he was being forced by the goddess. No matter what she said, no one would believe her.

“Then how do you explain what happened yesterday?”

“I drank too much! Of course, I drank too much today too! So, that’s it!”

“You seem pretty proud of that, huh?!”

The two bickered again.

Kobayashi, eyes blurry, reached out his hand to them, wanting to say something but ultimately said nothing, then suddenly his right hand dropped.

“Senior Kobayashi!!!”

Kazuma pressed hard on Kobayashi’s chest, shouting anxiously, “Senior Kobayashi!! Senior Kobayashi!!! Aqua, look what you’ve done!”

At that moment, Kobayashi’s consciousness gradually faded, and the voices around him grew distant.

Ahhh, I’m going to see Eris again.

Wait, why did I say “again”?