Chapter 61: In an Instant, the Flowers Scatter

At dusk, Chen Yi returned home.

Pushing open the door, Yin Tingxue was not sitting in the main hall as she usually did. Chen Yi glanced around, unable to find any trace of the young woman.

An inexplicable tightness gripped his heart, and he strode quickly toward the study, only to find the maidservant contract missing from the desk.

Had she finally escaped?

Not finding her, Chen Yi felt a sudden sense of loss.

A moment later, a ferocious grin spread across his face.

She had finally escaped!

Chen Yi turned and walked out of the study.

Reaching the main hall, just as he was about to push the door open and stride out, he abruptly stopped.

"...Are you looking for me?" the young woman's cautious voice came from behind him.

Chen Yi turned back to see Yin Tingxue walking toward him in small, hesitant steps, holding a cup of tea.

"Where did you go?" Chen Yi asked.

"I brewed some tea for you. Here, drink it."

His enemy held the teacup up before him.

Chen Yi took the bowl. The tea liquid possessed a harmonious, milky blend. He scanned Yin Tingxue's expression, then drank it down.

As the smooth tea slid down his throat, Chen Yi set the bowl aside. Just as she took it and turned to leave, Chen Yi hooked his arm around her waist.

"Where is the maidservant contract from the desk?"

Yin Tingxue shuddered, then raised her face to look at him.

"I... I burned it."

"Oh? You wanted to run away? But halfway through, you remembered I was coming back and realized you couldn't make it in time. So you thoughtfully brewed tea for me, terrified that I would hold you accountable... You have far too many thoughts, little fox."

Chen Yi said sinisterly, pulling her tighter into his embrace.

"...I won't run away. I haven't touched anything else. I told you... I will serve you always."

Yin Tingxue did not resist him. Instead, she pressed against his chest and said timidly.

Chen Yi looked at her in surprise.

"Then why did you..."

Yin Tingxue lowered her brows and eyelashes, as if she did not know how to answer him. She had always feared him, trembling even in her dreams.

Chen Yi desired her; she understood this. Therefore, she had burned only the maidservant contract and left everything else untouched.

She needed to give Chen Yi a reason—a reason to take her, and a reason to treat her a little better afterward.

Perhaps this was also her final, feeble act of defiance.

Holding his enemy, Chen Yi said in a very flat tone:

"If you don't answer, that means silence gives consent. Even if you truly didn't want to run away, by burning the contract, you've as good as escaped halfway. To be honest, I've been waiting for this day to properly exact my revenge and make you cry to your heart's content."

Yin Tingxue gave him a look that was both bashful and terrified.

"Just wait right here for tonight. As for whether you like me or hate me afterward—so what?" Chen Yi teased.

Even as he uttered such cruel words, he felt a slight chill run down his spine.

To his surprise, Yin Tingxue shivered a few times, yet offered no struggle. She merely shrank closer into his embrace, and finally whispered,

"...Mn."

Chen Yi froze for a moment. She had actually conceded, validating his shameless words about demanding she share his bed.

"...I saw the hairpin you bought. It's very pretty."

Trembling slightly, she softened her voice and took the initiative to say:

"I'll try wearing it later. Then I can pin up my hair, just like my mother did."

Even as she spoke words of resignation, tears welled in the corners of her eyes, carrying an indescribable grievance and sorrow.

"Mn... I'll help you pin it."

Chen Yi said as gently as he could.

After holding her for a long while, she gently pushed him away to wash the teacup. Once she finished, she entered the bedchamber and found Chen Yi already sitting on the couch, looking at her with a beaming smile. She trembled, a flash of despair crossing her eyes, yet she still managed a gentle, obedient smile for him.

Just as Chen Yi reached out to pull her to him, Yin Tingxue poked his lapel and whispered softly:

"...Can you buy me a skewer of candied hawthorns?"

"Candied hawthorns?" Chen Yi was puzzled.

"Mn, go buy a skewer of candied hawthorns. Then I'll go wash up, and you'll go wash up, and after that... we'll share the bed."

Fearing he might refuse, Yin Tingxue spoke in a very quiet voice.

After a brief thought, Chen Yi nodded without asking any further questions.

Watching the man's retreating figure, Yin Tingxue took a deep breath, then buried her face in the quilt. After curling up for a long while, she finally stood up and walked toward the washroom in a daze.

Whenever her mother made her do something she was unwilling to do, she would always have a servant buy her a skewer of candied hawthorns—just like pairing bitter medicine with candied citrus peel.

Yin Tingxue wanted to eat a skewer of candied hawthorns, to bite through the crisp shell just as she used to, and savor that sweet-and-sour taste. Candied hawthorns could not take away the bitterness of leaving her boudoir, but at least when he kissed her... it might taste a little sweeter.

This was merely a young woman's meager comfort to herself when facing her departure from maidenhood.

After washing up, Chen Yi returned with the candied hawthorns. Yin Tingxue took them in her hand, carefully bit through the hard sugar shell, and tasted the sweetness. At that moment, she finally smiled happily.

She ate them one by one, and when Chen Yi returned, only two candied fruits remained on the stick.

"Do you want some?"

Yin Tingxue held up the skewer, lowering her eyelids.

"Let's... each have one, Husband."

It was the first time she had ever called him husband. Chen Yi's heart skipped a beat. After a brief pause, he smiled and said:

"What, trying to soften me up with this approach?"

Without standing on ceremony, Chen Yi plucked one of the candied fruits and began to eat it slowly.

Almost simultaneously, the two of them finished the candied hawthorns. Looking at Yin Tingxue, Chen Yi began to breathe heavily. A bitter, sympathetic smile touched his lips as he gently kissed Yin Tingxue's forehead.

"...Promise me... promise me three things."

Whether out of fear or not, the Princess of Xiang's breathing grew rapid, yet she mustered her courage.

"Oh? What is it?" Chen Yi asked with curiosity. Instead of asking for permission, she was making demands. "Go ahead."

Yin Tingxue gently extended a single finger:

"From now on... don't bully me."

"I refuse."

The young woman stiffened.

Chen Yi looked at her playfully.

"D-Don't humiliate me..."

The young woman's voice was trembling.

"I refuse."

"You... why do you refuse everything? How can you be like this..."

Yin Tingxue panted, murmuring with a tremor as tears filled her almond-shaped eyes.

"Because you are my concubine."

With a single sentence, Chen Yi blocked any further words from Yin Tingxue.

Hearing these cruel words, Yin Tingxue felt somewhat dazed, her mouth opening as if to say something, yet nothing came out.

She feared him, yet could only rely on him as meekly as possible within his embrace.

Of this, Chen Yi was well aware.

According to the laws of the Great Yu, a concubine belonged to her husband's family, and everything about her was at her husband's disposal. Thus, she had never possessed the qualifications to bargain from the very beginning.

"There is one last thing. Speak freely. Perhaps if I'm in a good mood, I'll agree to it."

Seeing the tears swirling in her eyes, Chen Yi could not help but soften his tone.

Yin Tingxue let out a soft "Mn." After pausing to catch her breath and taking a deep breath, she pleaded:

"Don't... don't hurt me."

Chen Yi reached out, gently gathering the panicked young woman into his arms, resting his chin on her trembling shoulder.

"Don't be afraid."

A moment later, Chen Yi reached out and unfastened her robes.

Yin Tingxue had already lost her focus, cooperating in a mechanical, disjointed manner.

The day she must leave her maidenhood had arrived. At the thought of this, Yin Tingxue's mind went blank; she sat there in a daze, tears streaming continuously down her face.

Amidst her daze, her thoughts drifted, and she felt as though she had returned to Yintai Temple, watching her younger self look perplexedly at her mother, asking about the origin of her name.

"Mother, why did you give me this name?"

"Does it not sound nice?"

Her mother put down her Buddhist scriptures and smiled at her.

"It sounds nice... but why Tingxue (Listening to Snow)? Why not Catching Snow, or Watching Snow? ...Listening to these... fleeting little white flowers?"

Watching the snow falling in flurries, she loved the name, yet she did not understand the reason behind it, looking at her mother with puzzlement.

"There is Zen within it."

"What is Zen?"

"Snow is a momentary flower. When you look at it, you only see its superficial appearance; when you catch it in your hand, you realize it vanishes into nothingness instantly. Yet form is emptiness, emptiness is form; to see that what appears empty is not empty, and what appears as form is not form—that is Zen. You cannot catch it, you cannot merely look at it; you can only listen to it."

Her mother explained patiently.

"Mother... I don't really understand..."

Those words were far too profound for her.

"Then you only need to remember that snow is a momentary flower... a momentary flower that scatters in an instant."

Her mother spoke gently, lightly stroking her head. At this moment, the man on the bed was stroking her hair as well. In her daze, her mother's figure seemed to overlap with his.

Yin Tingxue instinctively tightened her arms around him.

"So that's how it is. How beautiful."

Just like when she was a child, she let out a tiny sigh.

"Mother, snow... snow is a momentary flower."

After that, she grew quiet.

She had once quietly listened to the falling snow; now, she quietly listened to the scattering of the momentary flower.

He had entered...

It sounded like... the sound of a momentary flower scattering.

She heard it.

So this... was how sorrowful it felt!