Chapter 84: Bewilderment

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The old residential complex was filled with the breath of life. Weathered walls, slightly uneven roads, dim lamp posts, public notice boards, and the somewhat disordered greenery—all of it stood in sharp contrast to the gleaming, modern environment of Kang’an International. Even the people passing through were different.

Cheng Yao returned to the rented apartment. Gazing at the cramped rooms and listening to the boisterous voices of old and young outside, he did not feel the calm of returning to a familiar place.

Bai Xiao was silent all the way, as if still caught in the memory of the infant she had met for the first time that day.

“I’ll go make dinner,” Bai Xiao suddenly said, hurrying into the kitchen.

Cheng Yao watched her slender figure, stood in silence for a while, then went to sit on the sofa in the living room.

He couldn’t see the kitchen, but he could hear the intermittent sounds from within. He could even feel Bai Xiao’s gaze upon him—even though she certainly couldn’t see him either.

Cheng Yao closed his eyes, at a loss for what to do.

In the kitchen, Bai Xiao absentmindedly washed and chopped vegetables. They had bought these a couple of days ago; there wasn’t much variety or quantity. When they first arrived, they’d treated their stay like a vacation, eating out or ordering takeout for every meal. Most of what they brought back was fruit and snacks. The apartment had no kitchenware or spices. Only after the incident with the infant, with Cheng Yao busy tracking and monitoring, did Bai Xiao equip the kitchen with some essentials so there would be food ready for whenever he returned.

They had left the Monster Clinic, yet overnight, it seemed they’d returned to their old life.

Clack.

The knife came down, slicing a potato in half.

Bai Xiao stared at the cut surface, her fingers crawling with subtle movements beneath the skin. She watched for a while, then slowly turned her head to the kitchen doorway.

From where she stood, she could see only the edge of the television, not the sofa, and certainly not Cheng Yao sitting there. Yet her gaze seemed to pierce the wall, seeing him all the same.

In her eyes, swirls of darkness rose—like masses of mist or a writhing swarm of insects, covering the whites of her eyes.

The skin exposed outside her clothes moved restlessly, as though her entire body was nothing but a colony of insects beneath a human hide.

Bai Xiao opened her mouth, stretching out a strange, black tongue to lick her cracked lips, then closed her eyes.

The aberrations faded from her form.

She lowered her head, staring blankly at the potato on the chopping board for a long while before picking up the knife again.

Clack.

Clack.

…

A simple meal, tasteless to both Cheng Yao and Bai Xiao. When they set down their chopsticks, neither hurried to clear the table.

Bai Xiao looked up at Cheng Yao. “Let’s go home, darling.”

Cheng Yao was taken aback, then nodded in agreement. “All right.”

After agreeing, he hesitated, “I’m sorry…”

Bai Xiao gave a soft laugh. “Why apologize? You did nothing wrong. It’s just… that child wasn’t meant for us.” She sighed, then quickly composed herself. “Let’s head back early.”

“Mm.” Cheng Yao collected himself, then frowned. “But if we take the train or fly, we’ll need our IDs for tickets. Even the long-distance buses check IDs…” He thought for a moment. “Our only option is probably to try the intercity buses…”

There were always some bus routes and metro lines crossing provincial borders. Longcheng, being a tourist city, had little commuter traffic to nearby cities, so public transport would require a roundabout journey. To get home that way would take careful planning.

Driving home on the highway never occurred to Cheng Yao. That simplest option had never once entered his mind.

Nor did Bai Xiao consider it. Instead, she thought of another convenient way. “Why not leave through the clinic? Just like when we came—we can go back the same way.”

Cheng Yao opened his mouth, “But the clinic doesn’t appear on command…”

“We can try,” Bai Xiao smiled.

“Mm… worth a try.” Cheng Yao glanced at her.

Bai Xiao seemed not to notice. She stood and said, “We don’t have much luggage. If we see the clinic, we can go home right away. If not… we can stay and have a bit of fun. It’s no trouble either way.” As she spoke, she began to clear the table, not in any hurry to leave.

Suddenly, Cheng Yao felt as if he understood Bai Xiao’s thoughts.

He helped her clean up, but he couldn’t bring himself to apologize again.

Bai Xiao was different from him. She hadn’t seen what that infant had done; she’d simply been told by him that they couldn’t take the child in. Bai Xiao, understanding as she was, had asked nothing. In her eyes, her husband’s behavior might be odd, but she chose to accept it.

To Bai Xiao, the Monster Clinic was not a lurking danger, but a lifesaving benefactor. She did not share his suspicion, fear, or vigilance.

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Between the two of them, perhaps it was he who was the paranoid, troubled one.

No…

Cheng Yao watched the water rushing in the sink, his thoughts drifting to the toilet he’d seen earlier.

Blood-red, holding twisted human forms…

“I’ll wash the dishes. You take out the trash,” Bai Xiao nudged the absent-minded Cheng Yao.

He wanted to say something, but looking at her serene profile, he couldn’t bear to break her peace.

He thought again of that stormy night, of Bai Xiao standing silently behind the glass door, gazing at him.

He was loath to admit it, but since that night, an invisible barrier had formed between them. Now, he had no choice but to face the rain and the glass that had come between them.

He should have crossed the rain, opened the door, and embraced Bai Xiao again. But…

Cheng Yao looked down at his wet hands.

Another pair of hands entered his view.

Bai Xiao handed him a clean towel, gently drying his hands with a laugh. “Why are you like a child? You’ve dripped water all over the floor. There, all done. Go take out the trash.”

Cheng Yao forced a smile. “Okay.”

He took out the garbage, but didn’t return immediately. Instead, he sat on a bench in the complex.

He wasn’t thinking of anything—he simply didn’t want to go back inside. His mind was blank, but instinct drove him to escape, to put distance between himself and Bai Xiao.

But when he stopped thinking of her, his mind inevitably began to wander. Especially at this hour, in this old neighborhood, he couldn’t help but notice the children playing, hear their laughter and cries.

He thought of the infant.

He had returned the powerless child to the hospital ward. In those few seconds, watching the unconscious infant, he’d hesitated. He could kill the monster that Zheng Yichao had become without a second thought; he could fight with Liu Yu after she’d grown monstrous limbs. But faced with a baby he could cradle in his hands, he couldn’t help but falter. Even though, not ten minutes earlier, he had resolved to “deal with” this monster.

Perhaps it was Bai Xiao’s influence, or simply that he’d stripped away everything from the child…

Cheng Yao stared at his hands.

The ring on his left ring finger gleamed, even without a diamond. He seemed to see another hand—a slender one, adorned with a diamond ring.

That hand was soft, delicate—a slightly unfamiliar sensation. Not as tender as a baby’s skin, but smoother than Bai Xiao’s hands had once been. Bai Xiao had said she’d hardly ever done housework before graduating, not that she was completely idle, but her parents did most of it. At most, she occasionally washed fruit or dishes, or cleaned her own room. Cheng Yao, too, had grown up with little housework, his hands callused only from years of writing. As a man, his hands were rougher than Bai Xiao’s, and from his days on the soccer team, tanned by the sun. Even after stopping sports for a while, his skin was still unmistakably masculine.

Two such people moved in together after graduation, blackening a wall with their first attempts at cooking, stumbling their way through learning to live, their hands inevitably becoming rougher, acquiring new calluses.

These were the marks left by time, proof of a life lived.

Only a newborn has no such traces.

No, not always. Congenital diseases, genetic differences…

Cheng Yao’s thoughts drifted aimlessly until his phone rang, breaking the reverie.

He took out his phone and saw photos and a message from Tong Bin.

Tong Bin had just finished a matchmaking date and was “reporting” the result. More accurately, he was venting: he had failed again. This was his second blind date, and his second failure.

Tong Bin was conflicted. He didn’t know whether to keep trying or, if not, what else to do.

On impulse, Cheng Yao called him.

Tong Bin answered quickly, “...Sigh.” The sigh was cut short, replaced with self-mockery. “I don’t even know who to talk to about this… After clearing things up with Yaya, I wanted to start over, but it seems… I might have chosen the wrong path.”

Cheng Yao didn’t reply at once.

Tong Bin sounded lost. “When I told my parents, they were relieved, and immediately started arranging introductions. The women were fine... The first one was serious about marriage, very motivated... but she wasn’t interested in me. The second, today’s, was just going along with her family. She apologized to me when we first chatted, and even invited me to dinner. The place she picked was great, the food delicious, the ambiance good. We had a pleasant chat. But she’s not interested in dating or marriage for now—her work keeps her very busy. She’s in import-export, always traveling, sometimes abroad, sometimes all over the country.”

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Tong Bin’s account, as always, was scattered, pouring out all the details at once.

After listening, Cheng Yao found himself unexpectedly calm.

“Do you like her?” Cheng Yao suddenly asked.

Tong Bin was taken aback, hesitating. “Not really… I mean, it was only our first meeting, we’d only exchanged a few messages before… She’s cheerful and generous. Kind of like Yaya, but even more outgoing. She did most of the talking, introducing the food, her job—she’s been to many countries, but always for work. As soon as she lands, she’s busy until she boards the plane again, never a chance to sightsee. But she doesn’t seem to mind. She talked about it cheerfully. She really loves her work.”

Tong Bin’s voice grew quieter. “I guess I’m a little envious. She has clear goals, loves what she does, and she’s doing it… I don’t really know what I’m doing now.” He laughed at himself. “Though I guess I never really knew…”

Cheng Yao fell silent, lost in thought.

He remembered the years Bai Xiao had been away.

Like Tong Bin, he hadn’t known what to do. He had once had clear goals, someone he loved, work he enjoyed. He and Bai Xiao had built a home together.

Then, it was all gone.

Now, everything was restored.

He had Bai Xiao again.

Cheng Yao looked at the ring on his left hand.

It wasn’t the same wedding ring, but he wore one again.

“Sigh, whatever, it doesn’t matter… Living like this isn’t so bad. I’ve gotten by this way so far. It’s just, seeing Yaya, I get a bit envious. And other people too… sigh…” Suddenly, Tong Bin raised his voice, as if trying to convince himself, but his confidence soon faded, and he sank back into despondency.

That was just his nature. “Pulling himself together” was always fleeting.

Tong Bin changed the subject. “How’s your trip?”

“Uh…” The question caught Cheng Yao off guard. After a moment, he replied, “It’s okay. My… my friend ran into something.” He blurted it out.

Tong Bin didn’t suspect, asking directly, “What happened?”

“He met two people. They were both… probably bad people. Um… one was attempted, one was completed. But he let the one who succeeded go, and only… dealt with the one who tried…” Cheng Yao stammered.

“Huh? Uh, is your friend a cop?” Tong Bin asked, confused.

“No… no.” Cheng Yao gave a bitter laugh.

“Oh, so ‘attempted’ and ‘completed’ are just descriptions, right?” Tong Bin reasoned it out for himself and, upon making sense of it, continued, “So what’s the difference between the two? One new, one senior? Or acquaintances?”

“No, both strangers. Just… different ages. You could say one’s new and one’s a veteran. The one who succeeded is the newcomer.” Cheng Yao began to lose hope in this conversation, wishing to end it.

“I see… In that case…” Tong Bin wavered. “Usually you’d let the senior off, right? Especially since it was only ‘attempted’… But if he’s been around years and still acts that way, maybe it’s on purpose? The new guy might just not know better—could give him another chance…” Tong Bin kept rambling.

Cheng Yao couldn’t help but laugh.

His troubles had become Tong Bin’s, and Tong Bin was earnestly mulling it over, filling in gaps with his own imagination.

He really shouldn’t have asked Tong Bin.

If he were to find a better confidant, it would be…

Cheng Yao’s thoughts wandered.

“…Just go by the company rules, or listen to what the higher-ups say—do as you’re told.” After much deliberation, Tong Bin concluded with a noncommittal answer.

Cheng Yao thanked him with a smile.

Perhaps with new troubles on his mind, Tong Bin didn’t bring up the matchmaking again. After a few minutes of casual conversation, they ended the call.

Cheng Yao looked at his phone, scrolling through his contacts until his finger stopped at Boss Le’s card.

He pressed the button, calling Boss Le.